HOOF

Oh, Gawd, it's the Family Holiday Get-Together

2005-12-25T21:32:00.000-05:00

It's been ages, but today I blog.

I made a fiscally conscious decision not to connect the internet and cable when we purchased our new home in July. I miss the internet but it is such a time-sucker for me with little accomplished.

And what have I accomplished in 6 months? Getting used to being separated from husband #2 (a plant swung and rubbed against my lower back...I really miss that plant right now) redoing hardwood floors, getting used to not travelling with work, babysitters, kids in a new school...

I said I would write. Being alone at night is good for creativity. But instead my DVD collection is growing (Bridget Jones, please never leave me.)

So today I am hiding in my little brother's room, on his 'puter, waiting for the last of the family/psycho holiday Ahhh to be over. But the girls loved running around with their cousins and I have suppresed my anxiety with the help of Lindor (dear chocolate, you must always be near also.)

All in all, the year is ending worse than I had hoped at the beginning of 2005. I really have to do something about that for next year.

Take Care everyone!

Mockumentary

2005-06-25T00:54:00.000-04:00

This week our call center finished transitioning 600 agents to another client. It was a lot of training and I am glad to be done my last class.

I was getting a bit bored of the routine of the courses I was facilitating and the agents didn't enjoy working nights, so I asked if they would like to make a video one night. We talked about a few ideas. We were going to make a documentary about sushi (the perfect food) and each part is a vital part of customer service. We scrapped that very bad idea in exchange for a mockumentary about training new customer service representatives.

Ideas were kicked around:

 A drill sargent telling new hires that customer's come first, use empathy statements or else!

 Representatives can talk about their feelings to a psychiatrists.

 A priest-like character were agents that have erred can confess.

As everyone was leaving for the night, I called, "If anyone wants to write a script, bring it in tomorrow." Two minutes later I started writing.

One hour and forty-five minutes later I came up for air. Done.

The next day I was quite nervous, to be honest. I didn't want everyone to say they liked it just because I'm their trainer. I asked if anyone had written anything, of course no one had, so I offered mine. It isn't easy putting yourself out there.

However the script was well received and after a few casting changes the class went home with prop designations.

Filming: What a day! Full of teamwork. The odd grumble towards the end but it really was fun. A few changes and improvements here and there.

Someone with the proper editing program took it home and compiled it.

Today we all got to see the finished product. It worked out really well! Completely novice, of course, only about 6 minutes long, but those that we called in to view it also liked it.

It felt awesome to see our names on the credits. Quite the rush!

Necessity: The Mother of Invention, Unfortunately Based on a True Story

2005-06-21T14:24:00.000-04:00

This is the story that got my highest rating ever on Zoetrope (still only 6.5/10):

In the Gaggle of Giggles Day Care it is Friday, a.k.a. Sandwichday for the noon meal. The buns are rising and just a quick jaunt to the fridge is needed to grab the necessary lucheon meats and cheese. Suddenly the realization hits that the first of those is missing.

Damn.
Dilemma.

If only this ridiculous disagreement with the couple next door about the fence was finished so an actual organized thought would be possible. And who is she to complain about colour? One more glimpse of Daisy Colburn's entirely patterned and mismatched clothing and a pair of jeans will have to be delivered to her. Not to mention that catalog specializing in cubic zirconian jewellery the mailman left here by mistake one morning. As if everyone didn't know that garbage she drips in isn't--but enough, back on task.

Okay, the old fail safe PB&J can work.
Frick, frick, frack, out of the latter.

A great substitute for jam is honey. No, all gone a month ago on a Wedne--Bakingday. Time to check the freezer. A vat of soup everyone hated and chocolate icing. The only fruit left in the house is oranges ruling out any chances of apple-cinnamon oyster buns or peanut butter and banana.

A mental note is made to actually allow one of the many grocery lists lying around the house make the journey to the grocery store.

Corn Syrup, syrup...pancakes? French Toast? No, the point of Sandwichday is to escape a pile of dishes.

And didn't Daisy have to cluck her tongue at the porcelain and plastic tower of Piza in here one morning when she dropped in UNANNOUNCED as always. She purposefully comes to the back door to file her report on the status of everyone's kitchen.

Okay, time to start cooking some french fries for a time-buying appetizer. Maybe stick some candies in the top of each bun and...and what?

Grrr.

Fill each bun with something. To the cupboard with its hodgepodge of ingredients. The saving conocotion is here. Vanilla, lifesaver candies, peanut butter, cornmeal, baker's chocolate, oatmeal, dried cranberries, cake sprinkles, cloves, five lollipops--grape, orange, orange, grape, oh, also a lemon that escaped the bag--pure spearmint extract, a small roll of hallowe'en rocket candy...

Inspiration dawns.

THANK YOU!

The fries are done. Hurry, hurry, get the buns in the oven. Mind reeling at the absolute brilliance of the plan.

It needs a name...thinking, thinking...Friday Funday.

Now to round a small bowl of ketchup with the french fries on a dinner plate, cover and set them in the middle of the large, white-laminent, rectangular table. Done. That won't be enough to hold them. Oranges are hacked into quarters and thrown on yet another plate but remain on the kitchen counter.

Now...

Needed: a pestal and mortar.
Substituted: a cafe au lait mug and a large spoon.

The first four ingredients are plucked from their different dark corners. Crushing them a few at a time works rather well. Some powder more than others, some shatter. Hmph.

A moment of uncertainty. What if it doesn't go over? Children can be fickle imps. Damn, there is no way this is going to fool them. Perhaps just scrap it and do Cheese Whiz. No, even if they love it, that stuff is total garbage, not that this is much better.

Point of no return.
Just go with it.

School children come in the door signalling the commencement of the meal hour. Eleven children pounce upon the appetizer.

"No double dipping that's gross!"

"Hey, I was looking at that one!"

"Sweetie, take your hand out of your pants and please go wash them BEFORE!" a lunge to arrest a reaching hand, "you get another french fry."

The timer for the buns sounds. No, they aren't brown yet.

A glance out the window shows Pansy puttering in her garden. Nice sandals. That reminds: Did she see that involuntary eye rolling the last time she was here begging invites to her Lingerie Party? Alright, enough, exorcizing Daisy from this day's thoughts.

Fast, little shrimps out there scarfing it down....come on...buns be done...almost there...time to unleash the orange quarters.

Buzzer again. Out they come.

...

"Why? Well, we are having the oranges first instead of last because today is Friday Funday, so we are doing everything in a mixed up order. AND!..."

(Really sell it, girl.)

"It is still Sandwich Day, BUT!..."

Good, good, a few eyes are wide, a couple actually halt their feeding frenzy and snap their heads up.

"You have probably NEVER! eaten this kind of sandwich before in your life! SO! There is no peeking into the kitchen or it will ruin part of the fun!"

The buns are halved, slathered and dropped on a serving plate. Make one for each to start.

A triumphant relay from a spy is heard: "I saw peanut butter!!!"

Another roll of the eyes, a call of no peeking and a challenge of, "But can you think of the other part? It is something you have probably never had on a sandwich before."

Eleven children makes an uneven number of sandwiches...keep the extra one in the kitchen or there will undoubtably be a argumentative situation to contend with.

Finally the topping is dashed on.

"Are you READY?!?"

"YES!"

"Okay...here they are...Peanut Butter and Candy Sandwiches!"

Saliva glands begin spewing and anticipatory adreneline manifests itself in excited wiggles.

Doubt is obliterated after one minute and forty-seven seconds when the first batch has vanished.

"I didn't get a piece of purple and that's my favourite colour."

"You made one extra!"

Damn, forgot about that little bugger sandwich. However, the next helping is ready to go and a fight is unable to get off the ground.

"Are we allowed to lick the bits off the plate?"

"Boys that eat pink candy turn into a girl, give it to me."

"I love Friday Funday! When is the next one?"

A sigh of relieved triumph. If only parents knew what a trial it is to rot their children's teeth.

Who could tell?

2005-06-20T00:47:00.000-04:00

I've wanted to "be a writer" for as long as I can remember.

As a teenager I wrote poems about death, boys and parents that didn't understand.

I look back and see how silly they were. But I'd like to think they were the start of something worthwhile.

So here I sit again. My laptop and me.

Looking back on my weekend I realize why I didn't write anything other than re-work two lines of a song: The TV.

What's on in the background-mostly-frontground right now? The Witches of Eastwick. It's a good thing I'm watching this again. Heaven forbid I miss Devil Jack eating fruit and snarling.

After we move I am not getting cable. It's become my mantra "I will not get cable, I will not get cable."

Life is about balance. And productivity is one of the things that need to be weighted properly. 'Time to get rid of some of the drains.

Right after this movie.

Moving All Over

2005-06-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

We are moving into our new house soon. After 3 years living in a "temporary" one!

Even though I periodically go through things and throw out everything that hasn't been used in the past year (within reason) it's still annoying.

Moving...ahhh!

Now what could be worse than moving? Moving twice in one week, of course! And that's exactly what we signed up for!

Here's the sequence of events that got us in this situation:

•I put in an offer on our new house
•They counter-offered
•I accepted the counter-offer
•I gave the landlord notice
•I had inspections done on the new house: home inspection, electrical, furnace, video of the plumbing
•The owner of the home asked for a closing date of July 6th, not the original June 29th and we said we couldn’t
•I put in another (lower) offer to cover some of the repairs. To sweeten the deal I gave them the July 6th date
•They accepted the new offer rendering us homeless for the week inbetween

The thought of moving twice makes this first move seem like more of a chore!

Elena's Steamy Letter

2005-06-16T01:50:00.000-04:00

I steamed open a nine year old's mail today. I wanted to know who sent it but didn't want to deprive her of the fun of opening the letter.

I had to make asparagus anyway (the asparagus cravings have not gone away...it's been about a month now!) so steam was readily available. I've read her diary on occasion so this was not a big step.

Nothing is sacred to a curious mother.

Life was too small to contain her...

2005-06-12T21:09:00.000-04:00

I really enjoy watching the movie, "Sylvia" with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Her life seems so romantic. A student at Cambridge, meeting Ted Hughes, starving together to get their writing off the ground, usually sacrificing her writing career for his, her discovery of his cheating, her depression.

There are a few scenes that stay with me.

Early in the movie she is at a cottage on the ocean. She has an entire summer to write. But she is blocked and bakes cakes instead.

Another is when she is upset about Ted's unfaithfulness. She says something along the lines of "What should I do, bask in your reflected glory?"

A lastly, the scene where she has her children in the car while she stands on a beach, contemplating suicide. Then the other when she provides for her children one last time before she kills herself.

What makes someone want to end it? Not even try anymore?

There is no such thing as the simple truth.

2005-06-09T21:59:00.000-04:00

I've tried a couple of times to watch "Sweet Hereafter." Afterall, I am Canadian and should show my support. And it’s damn fine film, so I’m told.

But I can’t get passed the first 20 minutes.

Just knowing I am about to watch it makes me get a stress ball in my stomach.

The thought of a movie based on people dealing with a school bus of dead children is too painful/powerful.

So I apprehensively tried to watch it. There was a foreshadowing wrecked school bus shot, then a scene with a teacher talking to some children at a fair. And that was it for me.

It's just not my time to view fictional tragedies of children (at this point I would like to tell everyone not to tell me if you know this movie to be based on a true story, but I would never want to limit anyone's comments.)

Six Feet Under Your Spell

2005-06-08T21:21:00.000-04:00

The final season of Six Feet Under wowed last night.

Great start to an absolutely great series.

Ruth was better than ever, but I really want to see her sister again. She must show at some point in the series.

Rico is such a shell of a character these days, but maybe that's the point.

I have never been able to stand David's pasty skinned body and this season is no exception. I love looking a Keith, but David's always getting the way.

Claire, Claire, Claire. Argh...constantly young, naive and stupid. I know that's probably also another point but it's difficult to watch.

Can anyone tell me what the point was of the three siblings all packing dope and eager to get high, but having to keep it from their significant others? That was too...too...too, uh, too.

The best line was Brenda's when she lamented of having her dead baby leaking out of her on her wedding day.

Being Grateful, con'd

2005-06-07T19:16:00.000-04:00

Today I am grateful for:

Asparagus
and
Air Conditioning.
air.

OucH

2005-06-06T19:53:00.000-04:00

I realize that I have been extremely negative the last few posts.

OucH

Why is it so difficult to be grateful?

Today I am grateful for my:
daughters
job
house (one month today until we move in!)
health

For starters.

Is this a "Tag?"

2005-06-04T19:52:00.000-04:00

I'm getting these from another bloggers site (I'd name it to give that person the traffic, but am I allowed to do that without asking them?)

The only person I know well enough to "tag" (if my amateur bloggness even has it right) is POOF, my adorable sister. I believe you answer these same questions on your site, POOF.

If anyone else wants to join in, feel free. Just tell me you are doing it so I can go to your blog and check out your answers!

Name: "lisa ganda"
When in High School I was: Picked on a lot and didn't get pretty until grade 12 but by then it was way too late.
Never in my life: have I done cocaine
Next time I go to church: I will be trying to enjoy it
When I was five: I took $20 to school without telling my parents. The teacher confiscated it and put it in an envelope. At the end of the day she gave me an envelope, I took it home and gave it to my mom. She opened it and inside was oodles of money for an upcoming school trip. She asked me why I had this and I said, "The teacher gave it to me." She insisted I tell her why I had it, to which I exclaimed, "You don't believe me!" (Later, she worked out the whole story with the teacher)
I will never forget: that I'm not as grateful as I should be for what I have
By noon I'm usually: wishing I wasn't going to work or resenting that I'm at work
When I turn my head left, I see: DVDs and a stereo
When I turn my head right, I see: a computer
If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Ophelia because I'm way too melodramatic, however, I'm not about to facedown myself in water over it.

It's all about me

2005-06-04T11:23:00.000-04:00

Someone asked me to tell them about my life/interests. This is what I came up with as a quick response:

"My life: I suck at picking men (obviously) as this is my second marriage going bust, which must also mean that I suck at being a mother, since this can't be good for them to have two dads leave.

"I'm pretty sure that this time I am not to pursue a divorce. I am not the cheating kind and therefore if I'm still technically married I won't get involved with another guy. It's one thing to screw myself up, another thing to drag two innocents down with me. Though a biased opinion, I really do have amazing girls that deserve the best chance at life.

"I haven't eaten asparagus for about 5 years and all of a sudden for the past couple of weeks I've eaten it several times with no sign of stopping any time soon.

"What else...hmmm...I'm not too bad a person as an acquaintance, but anything more than that (male or female) and I really suck."

Is it just me, or do other people have these types of feelings?

Single Mother Angst

2005-06-02T20:35:00.000-04:00

My girls have been challenging me rather hard for the last couple of weeks since their stepdad left (yes, it's true, 30 years old and I've been married twice.)

I talked to them, okay, frustrated-tone talked to them tonight. It is crazy but they are either bickering with each other or picking a fight with me. I guess everybody has to adjust.

Their stepdad was chronically unemployed so they were used to seeing him a lot.

Also, did you know cats get depressed? Soccie, out youngest cat has been moping ever since my husband left. And it's only been a month, but I think he's gained a bit of weight too. He walks with his head hanging down and flops everywhere.

Poor cat. He needs a couch and shrink desperately.

I Roll My Eyes at the Teachers

2005-06-01T19:21:00.000-04:00

My children brought home a letter from school today regarding the latest teacher-union whinings.

"...teachers will be escalating their work to rule restriction beginning today." "...teachers will not be reporting to work until fifteen minutes before school begins and they will be leaving fifteen minutes after school finishes for the day."

What does this mean?

Our teachers will now get a 7 hour work day. Total.

Call me extremely ticked off, but that isn't right. Why should they get a 35 hour week when the rest of us slobs do 40 (on the books, really more than that!)

My father is an Ontario teacher and approximately 3 years from retirement (random fact thrown in.)

Also, Ontario teachers are the most well-paid of Canadian teachers. It isn't like the States where teachers are so amazingly underpaid that it's a longrunning (very sad) joke.

They really need to grow their pampered selves up and be grateful for what they have. As a trainer I teach for 8 hours a day plus prep. Hmmm, maybe I should get the # for the teacher's union.

Spending $$$

2005-05-31T21:11:00.000-04:00

Today was the big semiannual shop for kid clothes. Once we are definitely in the summer season which means it's time to buy for the Fall. I buy for Winter in Summer and Summer in Winter.

It's a rather thrifty way of doing things.

It drives me completely bonkers to pay $44.99 for a 7 and 9 year olds' shirt when 3 months later it will be $7 or $9.

After purchasing I get sweatshop guilt.
But then I have oh-my-gosh-I'm-a-single-parent-again stress.

The totals...

Elena:
8 pants
1 skirt
17 tops

Meghan:
7 pants
13 tops

Total Spent: $388.04 (Canadian)

That works out to approximately $8.44 per item.

*sigh* The things that make us satified with our lives.

2005-05-30T18:37:00.000-04:00

I realize that I am a very straightlaced individual. I like to experience the odd thing that could be considered unconventional, but I don't want to live there.

This past week I was the object of a co-workers advances. He explained that he wants someone who appears wholesome to the outside world, but in private, very naughty. I was intrigued and interested, but would never sign up for it myself (even if I wasn't married.) Seemed like someone living in too much of a geeky fantasy world if you ask me.

He mentioned that he knows some people who have been on the show "Kink." I have seen the odd show (it was on either before or after a really great show, "Oz") and I remember thinking that they were all a bunch of wannabes and losers.

I'm open to other ideas of living, but that ain't one for me.

Sunday, Muddy Sunday

2005-05-29T10:37:00.000-04:00

Since we will be moving soon, I had to fill in and seed the patch of grass that my daughters dug up (they insisted the little girl across the road instigated the excavation.) It's been raining off and on quite a bit over the last few weeks.

If we don't get a few splashes from Nature's Great Watering Can I will have to do that burlap/watering thing that ensures the seeds don't move.

Today...a wait for rain. (Oh, my gosh! I'm boring!)

Top of the World

2005-05-26T12:33:00.000-04:00

On the weekend I promised my girls I would make them Sloppy Joes.
Today, I fulfilled that promise.

I have eaten asparagus 3 times this week.

I got my yearly, performance-based raise this week.

I enrolled my girls in their new school for next year after the move. They have a full-time music teacher.

Life is moving forward.

A lot to be Smug About

2005-05-21T15:50:00.000-04:00

I can't believe Belinda Stronach. I listened to her first few interviews after her switch to the Liberals and couldn't believe what a defensive WRONG dope she was. Almost every answer to the interviews' questions started with "Look..." She would quote someone else and the quote also started with "Look..." As if everyone talks with the same glitch!

Hopefully her people have since coached her on the that!

What were the Liberals thinking giving her a seat! Like they don't look bad enough these days.

Labour

2005-05-15T21:59:00.000-04:00

We bought a house two weeks ago. It's been so hectic lately! Today we went to observe some of the repairs on the house that were being done. I got to pick up a shovel and do a bit of work. After 3 years of not owning a house it felt so incredibly good.

It's strange what things make us complete. For me, I just need the basics. A good roof over my head, the ability to "putter." A weekend painting a shed, another weekend cleaning eavestroughs. It gives hope or something.

Elena and Meghan played at the park for a while. I sat on the grass and watched them. The sun was shining, but it wasn't too hot. A perfect, cool breeze kept the air comfortable.

Bliss.

Meghan's Roaring Success

2005-05-14T20:47:00.000-04:00

I confess that with everything going on lately (spousal separation, work stresses, babysitting arrangements) I didn't have a lot of time to stress about Meghan's 7th birthday party.

We always invite all the girls in the class (to insure no one feels left out) and last year we all sat in Burger King waiting for the party to start and not one kid showed. I still haven't gotten over it, though that doesn't matter. It only matters that Meghan isn't scarred.

This year's birthday was fabulous and she had an amazing time! I am so happy for her that I'm experiencing that motherly ache of relief in my chest.

I've come to the conclusion that the invitations for last year's party were probably never handed out. I just wish the teacher could have told us...we would have had another one the next weekend. One can only speculate.

What frustrates me the most is that this entire year has gone by with me worrying about Meghan socially. She has obviously come leaps and bounds in that department. Every year it gets better. This year she participated in the choir festival and for the first of their 2 songs she did not sing or do the actions most of the time, but did in the second piece.

I suppose I just need confirmation that she is going to be alright. Today helped.

"Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"

2005-05-09T21:02:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here, wanting to write in my blog, but am distracted by "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" on the TV. More like "Confessions of a Dangerous Butt." I've never seen so many shots from behind in the first 20 minutes of a movie before.

Why do so many movies these days give the viewer the same feeling as having a bowel movement? I want to escape life, not relive the most uncomfortable parts of it for two hours.

48 minutes in...another shot of his backside.

Apparently I am not the only person who has noticed he reccurring butt shots in the film. I did a google on it and this been observed and commented on already.

What does a person have to do around here to have one original thought?

2005-05-08T21:47:00.000-04:00

I put my husband on a plane yesterday. Never to return. Another giant leap towards the screwing up of my wonderful children who deserve anything but this mess I've got them in. 'Forgot to mention this is my second husband. My children are from the first marriage. I was actually encouraged at the stats that I see here. I dare not question if they are valid or recent...leave the poor darlings with some chance.

Feeling Impish (Bored)

2005-04-26T09:34:00.000-04:00

Sarcasm is the mixture of truth, acknowledgement and humor.
The only downside is that I don't have anyone to quip with these days.
It's funny how most people don't have a sense of humor about themselves.
And you absolutely cannot be sarcastic with someone who cannot handle it.
I wonder if it requires confidence or a lack of.
Either way, I give a mental sigh when I think of the sarcasm waiting to bust out of me.
What's life if you can't throw a cutting remark or two now and then.

Destined to be a Pusher?

2005-04-25T09:49:00.000-04:00

Today Elena and Meghan have their first choir performance. Hence we missed the school bus this morning practicing songs at the eleventh hour.

After driving them to school I paused in the car and looked out at my daughters. Elena was chatting as 9 year old girls do. Meghan was at the swings. She and another girl were pushing other kids. As I watched I thought of how she is always doing what she can to fit in and never really does. For once, I'd give anything for her to be the one being pushed.

Pushers and Swingers.

Then the thought came that I am happy that she is gving to others. But is she setting herself up to be a Pusher for life? If that will make her happy, will I make her unhappy by projecting my desire for her to be a Swinger?

High Risk

2005-04-18T20:37:00.000-04:00

I'm 30 and my husband still talks about having a baby some day. When we were first together I advised him about my 35 year cut off for having children. We discussed it again this evening. The first thing that came up in a google was the age 35 and risk risk risk!.

Seals it for me.

I don't have a problem with anyone having children at any age. My mom had my youngest sister at 40. But why tempt the odds? Besides, my mom was also a hundred times more healthy, still is.

The Kenya Song

2005-04-03T20:38:00.000-04:00

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/29/
For those that want to exercise the ole synapses.

It's not easy to come up with something original yet not too trying. I admire the creative thinker that can package their ideas so that it works.

Connected again

2005-04-02T23:19:00.000-05:00

Modem ka-funked
A week gone
But it's back.

!!!

2005-03-21T09:11:00.000-05:00

I wanted to give my girls a great experience to make up for having to move our August vacation to November, and then moving our November vacation to March.

So! We did something we hadn't done: Went to NYC.

This is from the Central Park zoo. Nothing as fun as mimicking a weird statue..they are so cool.

omigosh! I got hit on!

2005-03-01T20:57:00.000-05:00

Me Now---------------Me Then

This was what I sent my 15 year old sister on Yahoo! about my very unusual experience earlier this evening. I mean, 3 years ago--in my glory days--I could understand, but now?!? He didn't seem like a freak, but maybe he was! Or maybe, he really was just being friendly...even weirder!

aquaganda (8:40:32 PM): Yo, ex! Don't you come on here anymore! 'Just wanted to say that I am in Chicago and thinking about you...as always! Things are going okay, I can't wait to be home!!! Guess what? Some guy just invited me out for a drink! That is so funny! I am so old and fat...not to mention married (I had a dove ice cream bar in my hand which is why he didn't see my ring.) Too funny! If I wasn't married I would have gone, he was here on business...works in Montreal for Zurich! $$$ hahaha All I think about it money...oops, and you! j/k I think about food too! Well, had to share...see you!

Homefly

2005-02-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

I do not like airplanes.
I have figured out why.
Zero control over my life.

When using the "safest way to travel" your fate is completely in the hands of someone else.

Please, don't let the pilot be drunk or high. I hope he got enough sleep last night.
Please, don't let there be a mechanical failure.
Please, don't let the air traffic controller misdirect us or misdirect some other plane into us.
Please, don't let a passenger do something stupid.
Please, let me get home to my family.
Please, let me get home.
Please.

War of the Single Roses

2005-02-15T21:52:00.000-05:00

The first time my husband sent me flowers it was six red roses. We were long distance dating and when I told him what I had received he was disappointed. He stated he had wanted the florist to send a single rose. I thought, "What a cheap-skate," but he said that a single rose is the most romantic. When he gets me flowers, he gets me a single rose.

So every now and then, especially on Valentine's Day, we have the ongoing debate.

This year, as I was going to be away, I wanted to do something with a bit of meaning. This time I sent him the single rose.

After work and dinner last night a co-worker and I were entering my hotel room when I heard her say, "Aw, cute bear." I looked over to the table to see a single red rose with a bear hugging the vase. The card said, "The bear wants to give you a kiss from me. What do you mean cheesy? He says that he can't wait to bring you home for our little valentinivarsary. He also says that he hears a single red rose is very romantic. i love you GUESS WHO."

I suppose my husband won this battle. Some wars are worth fighting.

2005-02-10T23:25:00.000-05:00

Working in Virginia. Today my husband told me that Elena has a birthday party to go to on Saturday. And Meghan is going to one the Saturday after that. I was telling my husband where the emergency present stash is. This is a big deal for my girls, they don't get invited to a lot of those things.

Every year for their birthday they invite all the girls in their class. I never want anyone to feel left out or not have had a birthday to go to.

Meghan has always struggled socially. I may be a mom, but not an idiot. When I see my child go up to other kids on the schoolyard (kindergarden) and they ignore her the majority of times it doesn't take a lot of figuring.

Last year for Meghan's 6th birthday I gave the invitations to her teacher to send home with all the girls in her class. That Saturday we went to Burger King and waited for some kids to come. Fifteen minutes after the official start of the party I sat there, tried to put on a good front, inside hoping that one little girl would show up. Remember the movie, "Little Man Tate" when no one comes to his party? I had flashes about that movie and how when watching it I thought, "That would never happen." Well, it happened. And it happened to a very sweet girl. I had to keep excusing myself to go to the bathroom and cry. We took her to the movies right away and then to a circus the next day. I wanted to erase it from her life. Steve, my husband, said that Meghan didn't even notice. That's a nice thought. I think a lot of it is my fault. I don't fraternize with the other moms or get involved in the school. I work.

So I sit in my hotel room and think of home. I think of my girls and how I can make their lives better.

www.orht.gov.on.ca conquers all

2005-02-03T14:47:00.000-05:00

According to http://www.orht.gov.on.ca/ our landlady is trying to raise the rent over the legal 1.5%. Just wanted all the Ontario, Canada renters to know that increases have drastically decreased!

2005-01-31T13:57:00.000-05:00

This is my "On the Road Again" pic. I watched this movie, "Three Daring Daughter" in my hotel one night when away on business. Now, when I travel for work, it is the wallpaper on my laptop. It does make for some forlorn moments, but reminds me of what happiness is: lounging with your daughters.

Voluntarily, I went for 5 weeks (home on weekends) in August/September. Soon after I was off to the States for 10 weeks (with only one fly-back during the American Thanksgiving weekend) arriving home on December 23rd.

Today I found out that I am traveling for work again. 3 weeks total, spread over 4. I wish it wasn't so soon, having been home for only 6 weeks since the last trip.

Every so often I lament over the need to work, occurring more fervently when traveling.

This is how it breaks down:

Sleep 56 hours
Work 45 hours
Commute 2.5 hours
Total 103.5 hours

61% (just over 3/5) of our week gone.

That leaves 64.5 hours.

It deceptively sounds like a lot, but every other activity comes out of the 64.5 hours. Getting ready for work, cooking, cleaning, church, shopping, etc. Another factor: work is rarely 45 hours/week.

And there is a bonus dilemma. It is great to get a bonus for for every day of travel, but it leaves me with a sense of guilt. The bonus tells me that I must be sacrificing something. I would guess that a raging nymphomaniac feels better about herself than the prostitute. The nympho is doing the same thing, only its their choice. The only real choice the prostitute had was the one before she got into the profession.

What's a girl to do?

The Pre-Teen Era Begins At Dawn

2005-01-31T08:15:00.000-05:00

I am unable to sleep on the eve of my eldest daughters ninth birthday. Elena: Nine, beautiful, clever and distracted.

One of my favorite memories of her is when she was five. She was sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, palms up. When asked what she was doing, she piously stated, "I'm concentrating."

Today, Elena, her six year old sister Meghan and I were sitting at the kitchen table. (I wanted to give Meghan a more original name, but only had eight months to think.) We were singing "Colors of the Wind" and Elena stated that she needed a Valentine. I assured her that we would be buying Valentines for her classmates, but she then said, "No, Mom, I mean I want a Valentine. A boy to give a present to."

Not wanting to discourage this glimpse into my daughter's life I asked if anyone else wanted a Valentine. It seems her best friend, Emily, is also on the prowl. Emily: Chubby and freckled. The one who gained my faith and trust last year by reading all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. I took Emily's betrayal rather hard.

Elena took my silence as acceptance and went on. "And Thomas kisses ten girls every Valentine's."

Losing my grip on the pre-teen precipice, I asked, "Elena, do you kiss boys?"

Her chin jerked back and she said, "No." I felt so silly. Of course she hasn't. And now I'd planted the idea in her head. Flashes of pregnant teenagers went through my mind. Meghan was quietly taking it all in. A hedonist in the making and it was all my fault. It was imperative that I say something that would bring them back from the edge, preserving their youth and innocence for a few more years.

Eventually I asked them if they wanted to keep singing. They didn't. All in all, it could have been much worse.